When you are growing up in the beginning of life you have to ask your parents permission for every decision. Can I eat this? Can I go there? Can I go outside? etc. But as you get older the ties loosen. Soon its can I drive to my friends house? Where then you make the rest of the decision? Should I really go to my friends house, or that party? Or what to do when I get to that friends house?
Life is full of questions that lead to us making decisions.
I am now 22, and in the last year I have made the hardest decisions in my life.
They have all been my decisions. I can no longer blame my parents or my friends for helping me make my decisions.

I decided to take a year off, I decided to go to India, I decided to go to Africa, and I am not deciding to go back to school. These are all far from easy decisions.
I am very thankful for the people who support me through all of them, my family and close friends who know me so well, and know what words to say when these decisions are not proving to be easy paths to follow...

I am in Africa and just for my friend to post an old picture of us from a million years ago, or 5. made me so happy and I know that this day is going to be good. It is the little things. Often times I have felt completely alone being here. Yes, I am with a family, I spend a ton of time with roughly 25 kids a day, and I pass by friendly faces on the street, but I still feel alone. I don't understand all the time, but I guess it goes along with this decision I made. I understood coming to Africa was not going to be easy on the emotions, which have been torn every which way. Alot of days I feel completely alone.
I understand the decisions I make are mine, but often time the path leading to that final outcome is not an easy one to follow, and you are walking it alone. I just have to understand that there will be some people there for me when I fall, like my family and those friends who know to be up lifting when I need it, but I can not sit and expect people who don't want to be there, to be. This is my decision and I need to go in it alone and be appreciative for the people who are there on the highlights of my path.
You can really tell who is going to be there for you when you are at your lowest. True friends will stick with you when you need it the most. I am thankful for the people who have been there, given me kind words when I needed it, but I just have to realize that some aren't as strong as I expected. You find out alot of things when you are at your most emotional or biggest time of need.
I guess that is a big thing I am learning being so far away from home and everything I know to be comfortable.
I am already not a very dependent person on people and maybe this trip is even strengthen me against getting hurt. I always put up these walls when I realize I am getting hurt and I believe that this trip is showing me that maybe that isn't so bad. I guess I am at a constant "weeding" time in my life. Weeding out the things in my life that don't bring me up. So for the people in my life that have stuck through my crazy barriers: you are troopers! I know how I am, and I am thankful for the people who have stuck by me during, not only this trip, but my life.
I have a good life and love the people in it, and being here is just showing me how appreciative of my life back home I really am.
talk later.